mumblings and musings

30n30 day 22 enfermo December 8, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — burbunny @ 9:05 pm

My stomach is not feeling well.  I’m on medication for my diabetes and my body is adjusting.  I think when I eat too much sugar – the drugs make my stomach all crappy…literally.  Too much information, right?

Here are my Facebook status updates for today:

Christina can’t believe it was 18 degrees on her way to work this morning. 9:44am

Christina is enjoying a leek and goat cheese quiche from Clear Flour. 10:15am

Christina is eating a chocolate bacon bar…or is it bacon chocolate? 11:00am

Christina has got a lot of filing to catch up on. Ugh. 2:50pm

Christina is at home and going to eat some dinner. Exciting life in Boston. 8:00pm

Christina is not feeling well. 9:00pm


30n30 day 21 fa la la la la December 7, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — burbunny @ 9:05 pm

Today, I went Christmas shopping for Niko and for myself.  I bought Niko a Ferragamo wallet (which he loves) and myself a pretty ring.  I also shopped for Niko’s family.  They are all getting iPod Touches.  I went with my friend Alex and he didn’t really buy a lot.  Other than that…it was a prety chill weekend.

After a long day of shopping, Niko came and met us and we picked up Meg from the train station and we all went to Ken Ramen for dinner.  Alex was convinced that it will change my mind about ramen noodles (I think that they taste like doughy plastic).  The broth was AMAZING, but I’m still not a fan of ramen noodles.  No changing my mind!  All and all, it was  a pretty chill weekend.  I think I’m going to go to bed early and get nice and rested for tomorrow.

Today, I am thankful for my friends spread throughout the US!


30n30 day 20 new hair December 6, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — burbunny @ 8:24 pm
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Today, I went to get my hair done…it had been awhile and I needed an update.  I also brought my friend Tara to get her hair done.  She wasn’t one for ever doing her hair and needed some encouragement to get into a salon and have the person show her the right way to do her hair.  It looked so good when all was said and done.  I added some red highlights to my hair.  The color is totally unnatural – but it’s nice for a little change.

I still can’t stop thinking about Erica’s death.  After yesterday’s post, I just sat in my living room and cried and cried.  I thought about her life, her family, her close friends…her death.  I went to a very small college and everyone knew everyone.  She graduated the year behind me. We lost one of our own…and it hurts a lot.  She was 29 years old.  Let me spell that out for you – TWENTY FUCKING NINE and she died.  I’m at a loss for words.

Today, I’m thankful for my family and friends.


sadness. December 5, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — burbunny @ 9:41 pm

Erica Murray passed away last night and I am overcome with sadness.  I had just posted a cheery post a moment ago and went to her blog to check on the status.  Here is the posting from her sister, Jaci:

Last night, December 4th, 2008, at 11:35pm, Erica Jean Murray passed away. It was a calm and peaceful moment… she simply took a few deep breaths and fell asleep. We held her hands, stroked her face, whispered our love and hope for her to find peace…

The last week has been a beautiful and natural progression of tears and laughter, memories and hope… I am confident that her spirit will never leave us.

There is one moment in particular I would like to share… Yesterday afternoon, we were able to wheel Erica’s entire bed outside into the garden to enjoy the sun and perfect California weather. We sat with her for nearly two hours and I’m certain she enjoyed this.

The funeral will be held Tuesday, Dec. 9th at 10:00am at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church (400 Fullton Street, Redwood City, CA). After the service, we will have a Celebration of Life at our dear friends’ home, The Wang’s (214 Olive Hill Lane, Woodside, CA). The Celebration will follow after the church service until 4pm. Due to the number of people who love Erica, we are prepared to accommodate everyone with valet services at the Wang’s home. Additionally, we ask that in lieu of flowers, please make a donation in Erica’s name to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

Personally, my heart hurts. I am grateful for her release of pain, but so selfishly want her near me, to grow old with me, and fulfill all the dreams we had together. I acknowledge that I may never fully heal from this experience–and that’s ok. I don’t want to forget this raw ache because I believe it will be my guide to live a life she would be proud of… I will miss her smile, her kisses, and her unwavering support… oh, the list of things I will miss can go on forever… my soulmate…

The last three years has shown me what it is to feel truly thankful. I am thankful for time with Erica to tell her daily that I love her… I am forever grateful to the support team that has built up around me and my family. Words don’t begin to scratch the surface of my gratitude and I know that I will try my hardest to repay these kindnesses.

I hope you all can find a sense of peace too….
My heartfelt sympathy goes to her entire family and network of close friends.  She will be missed.  I am so sad.


30n30 day 19 christmas spirit

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I come from a background where we celebrate Christmas, yet I acknowledge that there are friends and family that celebrate other things.  For some reason, I feel super guilty when I send out Christmas cards to my Jewish friends.  So I try to find a holiday card that is winter holiday neutral.  This year, I found a really nice card through CVS.  I printed out all the labels, stuck them on the cards, stuffed the enveloped, affixed the stamps and sealed them all shut.  I’m sending close to 80 cards out!  They have a picture of Feynman and Lily and also a picture of Niko and I from our wedding.  They pictures of Feynman and Lily can be seen below:feynmansit1


I’m going to get my hair done tomorrow.  I’m not sure exactly what I want to do.  On Sunday, I’m going shopping at the mall with my friend Alex.  I will pick up Niko’s gift there.  Only two more weeks and then I’m on vacation!  Yay!

Today, I am thankful for holiday television specials (Grinch, Rudolph, Miracle on 34th, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town).


30n30 day 18 December 3, 2008

Filed under: 30n30 — burbunny @ 9:32 pm
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No update on the Erica front.  I’ve been checking her blog obsessively for some type of update from her friends or family.  I can just hope that she is resting peacefully and no seizures or struggles.  Tranquility is what I wish for her. As promised, I am not going to complain in the blog for the next couple of weeks.

Today, I am thankful for my husband and cats.  I love them immensely.


30n30 day 17 I should stop complaining December 2, 2008

Filed under: 30n30 — burbunny @ 1:55 pm
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Last week, I left for vacation to spend time with Niko’s family and my family.  Upon my return, I roll my eyes, state to anyone that asks “I didn’t really go on vacation, I spent it with family.”  Then I complain all weekend that I have to go back to work on Monday.  And I don’t have anything to really talk about.  Blah blah blah.  Complain, complain, complain.  Then, yesterday, I am catching up on a blog that is chronicling a college-mate’s battle with cancer.  A battle of which she is losing, terribly and horribly.  This girl, Erica Murray, who was so full of life and laughter is losing her life.  Cancer, inexplicably, is taking it from her.  She is surrounded by her loving friends and family and they are trying to make things are peaceful and calm as possible.  And I complain that I had to spend my free time with my family over MY vacation and that I have to go back to work in an industry that I love with friends that I enjoy spending time with.  What the eff is wrong with me?  There is a much bigger picture here and I choose to complain and focus on the little stuff.  My dad used to have a book in his bedroom called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.”  I think I should pick it up and read it (vs. reading my teenage ansty romance novels).  The truth of the matter is that I had a great time visiting Niko’s parents and a good time with my family.  Niko’s parents are very chill and they let us relax…you know…like we were ON VACATION.  My family was all together for Thanksgiving for the first time in over a decade.  We ate good food, no major fights erupted, I got to spend time with my two awesome nephews…yet I complained about it when I got back.  Then I complain about work like it’s life or death.

Erica, who’s blog can be located HERE, has been fighting the disease since February 2006 – the brief description of her blog is:

“PHASE III: RELAPSE This is a site my sister, Jaci, put up when I was first diagnosed with leukemia, in early February 06. I was recovering from a bone marrow transplant of April 29, 2008, a consequence of relapsing in January in Boston this year. Now, 6-months post transplant, leukemia has struck again. I’m back at Stanford Hospital hoping to once again beat this.”

She has been so brave these last three years and to share her story so publicly…there are a lot of people that are following her story and have been touched by it some way or another.  I was not close to her in college, yet the terrible turn of events has hit me quite hard.  She is only 29 years old.  Why do I complain about things I should be thankful for?  Therefore, I pledge for the next 13 days of this 30n30 I am going to post one thing that I am thankful for.

Erica can also be seen in this video.  Song urging people to register on the National Bone Marrow Donor Program.

Today I am thankful for people like Erica Murray…for inspiring me to stop complaining and start living.